How to Annoy the Demigods
by HighTide12
Summary: Are you at Camp Half-Blood, bored out of your mind? Not anymore you aren't, because we're going to teach you how to annoy the demigods! WARNING: Campers mentioned in the story may want to hurt you if you try any of these things
1. Percy

Kay: With the help of my lovely friend, Zanna, I'm going to teach you how to annoy the demigods! Now let's get to it!

Zanna: Wait, Kay, you forgot to do the disclaimer.

Kay: I don't want to do it!

Zanna: Fine then I'm leaving. *Gets up and heads towards the door*

Kay: Wait no. Come back! I'll do the disclaimer!

Zanna: Alright *Comes back*

Kay: We don't own any of the Pjo characters. All rights go to Rick Riordan.

Zanna: Now we can get started.

Kay: Yay!

* * *

How To Annoy Percy

1. Try to feed him fish food

2. Call him a fish, when he says that he's not, proceed to call him a mermaid

Kay and Zanna walk up to the Poseidon table during dinner.

"Hey, guys. What's up?"

"Hay is for horses Percy. You're not a horse." Zanna said, shaking her head.

"Yeah, you're a fish!" Kay exclaimed.

"I am not fish!" Percy yelled, causing other campers to look over.

"Yeah, you're right. You're only part fish, which makes you a mermaid." Replied Zanna.

"What no! I'm not a mermaid!" exclaimed Percy.

"Yeah you are. That means that you not only have to eat human food but fish food as well!" Kay said. Zanna then pulled out a bottle of fish food and a spoon.

"Open up." She said.

"No! I refuse to eat fish food." Percy protested. Kay and Zanna looked at each other.

"Plan B?" Kay asked.

"Yup." Replied Zanna. Kay then proceeded to kick his shin, causing him to open his mouth. Zanna took this as her chance to take the fish food and stuff it down his throat.

"Now we run." Kay said to Zanna. The two girls took off running into the woods, where Percy would never find them.

* * *

3. When you see him and Annabeth walking together, call them the **It** couple.

4. Talk about Percy and Rachel kissing when Annabeth is around.

Percy and Annabeth were walking hand in hand down the beach. Percy was still recovering from having been forced to eat fish food and was trying to have a good time with Annabeth. Everything was going great until he saw Kay and Zanna sitting down on the sand.

"Oh my Gods not here." Percy muttered.

"What's wrong?" asked Annabeth.

"They're here."

"Who? Kay and Zanna? Oh come on Seaweed Brain, they're harmless! Now lets go!" Annabeth said, pulling Percy ahead.

* * *

Kay and Zanna were discussing what to do to Percy next.

"Hey here come Annabeth and Percy." Whispered Kay.

"Ok act natural." Said Zanna. Percy and Annabeth proceeded to walk by.

"Hey did you hear that Percy and Rachel had a thing going on? I heard from the Aphrodite cabin that he _kissed _her!" Kay said, quite loudly.

"I told you to act natural!" hissed Zanna.

"Sorry," replied Kay sheepishly.

"Yeah, can you believe that Percy would do that? I mean he and Annabeth are the _it _couple!" Zanna exclaimed.

Percy prayed to the Gods that his girlfriend didn't hear, but of course she did.

"You and Rachel did what!" she yelled.

"I swear they're lying!" Percy said, trying to defend himself.

"Don't you dare blame them! You know what? Leave me alone until you figure out who you want to be with." Annabeth exclaimed. She stomped away back to the camp, leaving Percy standing in the middle of the beach. He turned around to yell at Kay and Zanna but they were already gone.

* * *

5. Steal Riptide and replace it with a normal ballpoint pen

_Midnight _

"Shhh, be quiet." Zanna whispered. Kay and Zanna were in cabin three trying to find Riptide.

"Sorry, oh wait I found it!" Kay whisper-yelled. She was holding up Riptide triumphantly.

"Ok, now give me the pen." Zanna said. Kay handed her an ordinary ballpoint pen. Zanna then proceeded to put it on Percy's desk where Riptide ad once been.

"Let's go." Kay whispered.

_Next day during lunch_

There was a Minotaur in the camp. Someone had allowed it in and now it was wreaking havoc. It ran towards Percy; he took the ballpoint pen out and clicked it. Nothing happened. He kept clicking it, but nothing worked.

"You think that replacing Riptide was a bad idea?" Kay asked Zanna.

"Yup." Zanna replied.


	2. Annabeth

Kay: And we're back!

Zanna: Today we're going to be teaching you how to annoy Annabeth Chase!

Kay: Hopefully she doesn't find this and kill us.

Zanna: She wouldn't kill us... Right?

Kay: Lets just pray that she doesn't, now onto the disclaimer! We don't own the PJO characters so, Rick Riordan, don't sue us!

Zanna: And if you do want to sue us, sue Kay!

Kay: Yeah! Wait what?

Zanna: Now onto the story!

* * *

How to Annoy Annabeth

1. Call her a dumb blonde

2. Hide all of her blueprints

Kay and Zanna were waiting outside the Athena cabin discussing their next plan. Once all of the campers had left, they snuck in.

"Ok so where's Annabeth's desk?" Kay asked.

"I think it's the one in the back." Zanna replied.

"Alright, you keep a look out while I stuff everything in my bag." Kay started grabbing random papers and shoved them in her bag.

"Hurry up, someone's coming!"

"I'm done, but how do we get out?" The two girls started panicking. The only way out was the front door, and someone was coming back.

"Go through the window!" Zanna suggested. The footsteps were getting louder, so the girls scrambled and shoved themselves through the window.

"Now what do we do?" Kay asked. She had twigs in her hair and dirt smudged on her t-shirt. Zanna didn't look any better.

"I don't know I didn't think this part through!" The two girls started bickering, but were interrupted by a scream.

"Who took my blueprints!" Annabeth yelled. Kay and Zanna looked at each other.

"Let's run?" Kay asked.

"Right behind you."

_Later in the day_

Annabeth was still looking for her blueprints and she was getting more frustrated by the second. She went around asking campers if they had seen the person who took them. She saw Kay and Zanna at the archery range and decided to ask them.

"Hey guys, did you see anyone go into my cabin?" Annabeth asked, eyeing the two girls.

"No, why?" Zanna asked cautiously.

"Someone hid my blueprints, and I can't find them anywhere!"

"Well maybe you misplaced them. I heard that blondes tend to do that." Kay said.

"What do you mean by _Blondes tend to do that?"_ Annabeth was clearly offended. A daughter of Athena was wise, not stupid.

"Shut up Kay." Zanna hissed, nudging Kay's side.

"Well you know what they say, don't you?" Kay inquired.

"Are you calling me dumb?" Annabeth was fuming.

"She finally caught on." Kay mumbled.

"Kay, shut up." Zanna warned.

"You know what? Give me that." She said. She took Zanna's bow and arrows and said, "Run." Faster than the speed of light, Kay took off running.

"I told her that it was a bad idea." Zanna mumbled. She picked up another bow, some arrows, and carried on.

* * *

3. Steal her Yankees cap

4. Put spiders everywhere she goes.

Annabeth was spending time with Percy at the beach. She had left her cap in the sand along with her shoes and jewelry. She was talking to Percy about how Kay insulted her.

"You got the stuff?" Kay asked Zanna through the walkie-talkies they managed to get.

"Yup, so I grab the cap and put spiders on her shoes?"

"That's the plan."

Zanna used her ninja like skills to grab the cap, pull out a bag of spiders and dump it over Annabeth's shoes.

"Alright, the deed is done." Zanna said into the walkie-talkie. She walked over to bush were Kay was hiding. She waved the cap in front of her face, smiling triumphantly.

_Back at the beach_

"Alright let me get my shoes." Annabeth called out to Percy. She reached the spot where she had left her belongings.

"Percy!" Annabeth screamed. Percy came running thinking that something had happened to his girlfriend.

"What?" he was panting slightly from the run in the sand.

"Kill them." Annabeth said pointing to the spiders. Percy sighed and picked up the shoes and shook them.

"There, no more spiders." He said.

"Thank you. Wait where's my cap?" Annabeth asked. "I swear I brought it with me."

"Maybe its at your cabin." Percy suggested.

"No, I brought it with me!"

"Let's just check first." They walked to the Athena cabin and started looking for her cap.

"It's not here Perce." Annabeth sighed.

"Yeah it is, look." Percy was holding cap in his hand. Annabeth frowned and said, "I was wrong?"


	3. Nico

Kay: And we're back! Today's chapter is going to teach you how to annoy the ever so wonderful Nico Di Angelo!

Zanna: WOOOOOO!

Kay: I just love annoying Nico. He gets so pissy!

Zanna: Ok so Disclaimer, we don't own this blah blah blah. Oh and we don't mean to offend anyone in this chapter!

Kay: Now lets jump into it!

How to Annoy Nico Di Angelo

1. Call him emo.

2. Sing the emo song whenever you see him.

"Quick here he comes!" Kay said to Zanna.

"Ok, just like we rehearsed. Ok?" Zanna told Kay.

"Yeah, oh he's coming this way go!" Kay said pushing Zanna.

* * *

"Hey Nico, what's up?" Zanna said.

"Nothing, why?" he said suspiciously. He knew that Kay and Zanna were going around annoying everyone.

"You're so emo Nico, go out get a life, socialize. Its not good to sit around moping all day."

"I am not emo."

"You only reply in short answers! That's one of the symptoms!" Zanna waved her hand around and Kay jumped out next to her.

"Dear diary, mood, apathetic," she started singing. Zanna jumped in and started singing along.

"My life is spiraling downward. I couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate me dry concert. It sucks 'cause they play some of my favorite songs" Kay then sang the next part "like _Stab My Heart Because I Love You_ and_ Rip Apart My Soul_, and of course, _Stabby Rip Stab Stab_. And it doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either." Nico was really annoyed by now.

"Like that guy from that band can do. Some days ugh... I'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be You'd be non-conforming too if you looked just like me." Zanna finished. Nico was shaking with anger by the time they finished the verse.

"You'll pay for this" he said menacingly, before leaving.

"Do you think he'll do anything?" Zanna asked Kay.

"Nah, you know emo's and they're empty threats." She said.

* * *

3. Paint the Hades cabin hot pink

4. Fill his shampoo with pink hair dye.

"Ok, so you're sure that he's in the Underworld right now?" Zanna said nervously.

"Yes! Now pass me the hair dye." Kay responded. The girls were in a hurry; they had just finished redecorating the Hades cabin. The walls were now a sickly shade of bright pink, all his clothes were replaced with colorful ones, and they had switched the black bed sheets with some pale pink ones. They had also taken the liberty to spray a floral perfume all over the cabin. Now all that was left was to dye his hair pink.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? What if Hades kills us? I mean this is his honorary cabin!" Zanna exclaimed.

"Calm down will you?" Kay snapped. She dumped out the shampoo and replaced it with bleach, to make his obsidian hair blonde. Then she got his conditioner and poured in the permanent pink hair dye.

"There, we can leave now." Kay said. The two girls observed their work. Zanna was still worried that Nico, or even worse Hades, might kill them. They proceeded to sneak back out of the cabin, but not before Kay grabbed the perfume and sprayed it once more.

* * *

Nico shadow traveled back to Camp Half-Blood. He was exhausted and all he wanted to do was take a long nap. He opened his cabin, waiting for the darkness to consume him, but instead was met with a new interior. He was livid. What kind of a sick person would paint his cabin pink? He examined the cabin further and realized that it would take forever to redecorate everything.

He decided to take a shower to calm himself down. As he was shampooing his hair he wondered _why does it smell like flowers in here? It smells just like the perfume Kay uses. Wait, that means Kay and Zanna were here. Oh they are so going to die. _He marched out of the shower and into his room. He opened his drawers and found colorful clothes. Great. That was the final straw he thought. He looked up and saw his reflection on the mirror; his hair was now hot pink.

"Kay! Zanna!" he yelled.

* * *

Kay and Zanna were sparing when they heard someone yell their names.

"Did you hear that?" they said at the same time. A furious Nico was seen coming towards them. If he hadn't had pink hair and a green shirt and blue jeans, he would've looked terrifying. The two girls laughed along with the other campers.

"Oh gods Nico, that's a nice look for you." Kay said.

"You know what? I'm not going to bother with you two. They are." Nico said pointing to some skeletons he had summoned.

"I told you it was a bad idea." Zanna said to Kay. She turned to look at her, but Kay was already gone.

Kay: Up next is Thalia, and then it's Jason

Zanna: Are we really going to annoy Thalia?

Kay: Yep


	4. Thalia

Zanna: We're back, and this time it's time to learn how to annoy Thalia!

Kay: Hopefully Artemis and her hunters don't murder us! And hopefully SOPA doesn't sue us!

Zanna: We are not responsible for any injuries that may happen to you

Kay: Ok so quick disclaimer! We don't own any of the Percy Jackson and the Lost Hero characters or the plot line, we only own ourselves.

Zanna: Now let's pretend that the story is a pool and jump into it!

* * *

How to Annoy Thalia

1. Give her a makeover

2. Call her an airhead

Kay was spying on Thalia, deciding on how to torture, um annoy her. The hunters were staying at Camp Half-Blood for while and Kay and Zanna used this to their advantage.

"Did you manage to get the stuff?" Kay asked Zanna through the walkie-talkies.

"Yeah, but I am _never _going into the Aphrodite cabin again. Next time you need a refill on your makeup you're going yourself!" Zanna exclaimed.

"I got it! We give Thalia a makeover!" Kay jumped up and ran to her cabin to work out her master plan.

* * *

Kay began looking for Thalia around camp. She finally spotted her at an archery class that Chiron was teaching. A few people moved when they saw Kay coming over; they'd heard about what she and Zanna did to poor Nico.

"Hey Thalia, I was wondering if you could come over to my cabin. I'm thinking about joining the hunters." Kay told Thalia.

"Oh, sure. I'll come by after lunch." Thalia said. Thalia didn't get why everyone was afraid of Kay; she seemed really cool.

Once Kay was sure that Thalia was out of earshot, she grabbed her walkie- talkie and said, "Plan give Thalia a makeover is now in motion. Did you find any clothes that fit her?"

"Yeah, most of them are hideous." Zanna responded.

"Hey! Those are my clothes!" Kay exclaimed.

"You know what I mean." Zanna said.

* * *

"Hey Kay. So what do you want to know about the hunters?" Thalia asked.

"Uh, can we talk about that later? Like can we have some bonding time? So that if I decide to join you guys we'll already be like sisters, maybe?" Kay said. She was inwardly cringing, what if Thalia thought she was weird and left?

"Sure, I guess." Thalia replied.

"Yay! Ok, so you just sit there and wait." Kay said, before rushing off, "Oh! I forgot, here's a glass of iced tea and some cookies."

"Thanks." Thalia said, taking the glass and plate. She started eating and waited for Kay to come back. After a while she became very, very sleepy. She tried to fight it, but soon sleep overtook her.

* * *

Kay was panting after the long run she had across camp.

"Ok, I'm pretty sure she's asleep by now. When does the pill where off?" she said to Zanna.

"In 8 hours so we've got plenty of time." She said.

"Ok good because this is going to be a long process."

_Back at the Cabin_

Kay grabbed a pink floral dress from her closet and slipped it over Thalia's head.

"Good thing she's wearing shorts and a tank top." Zanna said.

"Ok, now onto the makeup!" Kay exclaimed.

* * *

Both girls stood over Thalia, evaluating their work. Poor Thalia was in a floral dress, and her makeup looked like something the Aphrodite girls would wear. Kay had taken the liberty to pluck her eyebrows, and wax her legs, while Zanna painted Thalia's nails with flowers all over them.

"Ok, so this stuff wears off in an hour?" Kay asked.

"Yeah, at least that's what it said on the bottle." Zanna said.

"So where do we put her?"

"By the ocean?"

"Ok, sounds good." Together both girls stuffed Thalia in a body bag and dragged her to the seaside. They took her out and laid her on the sand so that she wouldn't know what she looked like.

* * *

"Where am I?" Thalia said to herself. She felt really drowsy for some reason, and her face felt really heavy. She looked down; she was in a dress, a freaking _dress. _She didn't remember coming to the seaside or wearing a dress, the last thing she remembered was being with Kay. _Kay_. _That's it; it was Kay who did this. Wait what about Zanna? Zanna always has something to do with Kay's schemes. _

Everyone was looking at her as she walked through the camp. What was their problem? Geez, the nerve of some people, hadn't they been taught that staring was rude? So far, there was no sign of Kay or Zanna.

"Hey Thals, oh my gods what's on your face?" Annabeth yelled.

"What do you mean?" Thalia asked. Had Kay and Zanna written on her face?

Annabeth took out a mirror and shoved it in her face. _Oh my gods, Kay and Zanna are going to pay. _

_Meanwhile back in Kay's cabin_

"Do you think she woke up yet?"

"Nah, she probably hasn't noticed what we did even if she was awake. She's such an airhead." Kay said.

"I'm a what?" Thalia screeched.

"Aw man, why do all the bad things happen to me and not you?" Kay said to Zanna.

"Karma?" Zanna suggested.

"I don't care if karma has anything to do with this, but you are going down. First you drug me and then you give me a makeover?" Thalia yelled, stomping over to the two girls.

"This is usually the part where you run." Zanna whispered over to Kay.

"I'm already on it."

* * *

"Hey, at least it isn't so bad." Zanna said trying to cheer Kay up.

"I have a broken arm, and a mild concussion, what do you mean it isn't so bad!"


	5. Clarisse

Kay: Ok lets get this over with, we don't own any of the characters, all rights go to Rick Riordan. Done.

Zanna: Happy now Cyborg? No more long disclaimers. Any more requests?

Kay: Ooo sassy Zanna.

* * *

1. Steal maimer

2. Replace all of her weapons with plastic toys.

How to annoy Clarisse

"Ok so are you sure Clarisse is out of the cabin?" Zanna asked into the walkie-talkie.

"Yes! Now watch out for the land mines." Kay responded.

Clarisse wasn't originally on their hit list because they weren't that crazy, but since Clarisse had called them sissies, justice needed to be served. This was also Zanna's 'solo mission' as Kay put it, a chance to prove herself. And also Kay didn't want to risk being injured again.

"I got it, I got it." Zanna said, skillfully weaving her way through the cabin.

"Ok now locate lamer, I mean maimer."

Zanna looked around the cabin until she spotted Clarisse's preferred weapon. She snatched it up and went back to the wall by Clarisse's bed. On the wall were a bunch of weapons mounted on hooks like trophies. Zanna took out a vial given to her by a child of Hecate. She took the top off and out came a swirly mist. She blew the mist towards the wall and each weapon turned into a plastic toy replica of it.

"Mission complete." Zanna said triumphantly into the walkie-talkie.

"Yes! Now remember exit carefully."

"I'm already out of there, so where to I put maimer?" Zanna asked.

"Um, put it in the Hephaestus cabin. I've got a plan. Place maimer under Leo's bed." Kay said.

"Oh Gods, I pity poor Leo." Zanna said as she walked into cabin 9 and placed maimer under poor Leo's bed.

"Now let's go eat." Exclaimed Kay as Zanna exited the Hephaestus cabin.


End file.
